News in pics: Hodgson’s denial of England’s tiredness seems fruitless

News in pics: Hodgson’s denial of England’s tiredness seems fruitless

Taking a penalty to be taught as part of school curriculum
Students as young as the age of five will be taught how to kick a football into a goal net from 12 yards, as part of a new Government initiative to cut back on hours and hours of excruciating agony. In a move Prime Minister David Cameron claimed would finally put an end to the […]
‘Too many internationals taking toll on players’ says man organising club summer trip to China
Manchester City jester Brian Marwood has suggested that international football will kill the Premier League, not traipsing around the planet playing pointless games for lots of advertising money. Marwood believes that players are being damaged by the amount of minutes they’re being forced to play and is also concerned his jester hat isn’t quite funny […]
Beatles announce they’ll almost come back
The Beatles have announced they’ll almost come back, but actually won’t. The decision to almost come back was made official by Sir Paul McCartney who went on to say ‘we nearly did, but actually f*** it, no let’s not.’
Big Beatles fan Arsene Wenger was left devastated telling a fans forum ‘don’t nearly come back […]
Arsenal to stick Laurent Koscielny upfront in clever ploy
Arsenal manager Arsene Wenger has revealed plans to stick hapless defender Laurent Koscielny upfront and tell him to defend AC Milan’s goal. The tactic is a last ditch attempt to score 5 goals past their Champions League opponents and Wenger has advised Koscielny to mark Robin Van Persie.
Speaking to the Arsenal website Wenger claimed […]